Fuel
by Disera
Summary: "Isn't the dark side about letting your emotions consume you? Hatred and pain are powerful, but they are fueled by love and the care of someone other than yourself. Besides, what's the fun in living only for yourself?" The daughter of Senator Palpatine has always harbored a fascination with his apprentice. Will she be able to reach the humanity within the heart of the Sith?
1. Chapter 1

"Ah, Maul, what a welcome sight," I threw my arms open wide and let out a sigh of relief. The fact that the fierce looking Zabrak was glaring at me in annoyance only made me feel all the better.

"Oh, yes, Sister. He looks pleased to see you as well," My elder sister, Sabra, pointed out sarcastically as she entered the room behind me.

"Perhaps not, but I'm glad to see him," I told her truthfully. I had stopped near a table and began pulling out the pins holding my hair tightly and painfully in place.

"I can't imagine why," Sabra grumbled from her place at the door. She never was fond of him. Not even when he was very young and just beginning to transform into the formidable beast he is today. I, on the other hand, had always been more fascinated than startled by his appearance and demeanor.

"Because he isn't them. He doesn't parade himself. He doesn't sell himself. He doesn't _have_ to. Unlike politicians and Jedi, he doesn't need trickery and dressed up words to be powerful," We had just come from a party with our father, Senator Palpatine. I had always hated those functions. It always felt like people were hiding themselves behind politeness and fancy clothes.

My father chuckled at my comment and rested a hand on Maul's shoulder as he passed him by. "You should feel lucky, my apprentice. It is quite rare to receive such a compliment," I could hear the amusement in his voice.

With my hair freed from it's restraints I ran my fingers across my aching scalp. Sabra laughed openly at me, clutching her infant son to her chest.

"Aren't you a sight to see," She taunted as I patted my now very wild hair. It was sticking up in all directions and I knew I would have to soak it for a long time in order to restore it to it's normal state. "Children would run screaming," Sabra insisted.

"Perhaps some, but not yours," I playfully crept up to her, my eyes set on Casta, my nephew. He squealed in delight and reached for me. I scooped him up and spun him around.

"No, Casta is a fearless warrior," I held him up high and he giggled. "Aren't you?" I kissed his cheek as I brought him back down and danced over to where Maul was standing silently and as stiffly as a statue.

"See?" I held Casta up to Maul and couldn't help but laugh as the small child shrieked and reached towards the Sith's face. "He loves him! He doesn't have a fearful bone in his body," Every time Casta had visited our home since his birth he has shown great interest in Maul, though Maul would never acknowledge it.

"That's enough," Sabra snatched Casta from my hands and held him protectively to her chest. "He is a child. It is not that he is fearless, it is that he doesn't know any better," I felt irritation begin to creep up my spine.

"What? Are you afraid of him?" I taunted my retreating sister.

"Of course I am! Why aren't you? He could kill us in cold blood and feel not an inkling of regret," My sister's anger was boiling over. This was the sort of outburst I was accustomed to, as we did not share many opinions.

"But he wouldn't. He is on our side after all. There is no reason for us to fear him," I reminded her.

"Besides, you like us, don't you? Or at least me," I flashed a smile at Maul over my shoulder, knowing he wouldn't respond.

"It is best that he has no feelings towards you at all. Attachment often leads to weakness," My father chimed in from his desk on the far side of the room.

"Then what does that say about you?" I questioned with a sly smile. He returned it gracefully.

"It is possible for attachments to fuel power. Your death would destroy and strengthen me, and for as long as you, your sister, and Casta are alive, I am only more motivated to crush my enemies and create a better world for you to live in," His explanation was rather confident.

"You make a conflicting argument," I pointed out.


	2. Chapter 2

"Yes, yes," He admitted with a chuckle and a wave of his hand.

With today's events over my sister left for home, my father went back to work, and I was left with nothing to occupy my time. I had a long shower and dressed in comfortable clothes. I felt incredibly light as I paced the halls of my home, wondering what to do. I knew for sure I didn't want to leave the house again. My go to option was to read, but I'd found myself doing that so often lately I couldn't bare the thought of it.

"Mistress," I jumped slightly, having not heard anyone following me.

"Yes?" I turned to face Maul with a pleasant smile. He did always have a tendency to sneak up on people even when there was no reason too. He was simply too light footed for his own good.

"Master Sidious wishes to speak with you," I sighed and took a dramatic tip-toe forward.

"Alright, then," He turned and I followed him, making it a game to see if I could be as silent as him. Regardless of the fact that I was wearing silky slippers and tip-toeing as carefully as possible I still managed to make small sounds.

"I don't understand how you do it," I complained, mostly to myself. I was smart enough to know by now that he wouldn't respond to anything I said. To my surprise though, he did look at me. I smiled sheepishly, knowing he must have realized what I was trying to do.

"Ah, there you are," My father raised his head from his work as Maul and I entered his office. "I was hoping you would run to the market for me. There are some traders there who won't be back for quite some time and there are a few things I need," He explained as I approached his desk.

"Don't we have people for this?" I questioned, not feeling particularly fond of the idea of leaving again. "Besides, it's getting late," I gestured to the orange sky shining through the window behind him.

"I know well enough that you prefer late hours to early ones," He said knowingly. "Besides, you could use some interaction with _real_ people," I should have known that he'd throw my beliefs back at me.

"You and I both know traders embellish just as much," I said with crossed arms.

"That may be so, but you are far better at haggling than I am. Besides, beautiful women are offered fairer prices," I feigned shock and covered my heart.

"Father, how dare you suggest such a thing," He was right of course. Given my status and apparent attractiveness I have even been given things free on occasion.

"Go, and take Maul with you. The streets become dangerous on days like these," His pleasant demeanor turned sour. I reached forward and took his hand, kissing it.

"Don't worry, father. I will return unharmed. You are leaving me in capable hands," He covered my hand with his and his smile returned. My father handed me a small list and Maul followed me from his office.

It was quite a nice evening to be out and about. The weather was perfect; warm and breezy. Despite my father's fears, the atmosphere of the market seemed rather peaceful. Children played on the dusty streets and even the traders seemed to be in a decent mood.

"Oh, look!" I exclaimed in excitement, though I knew Maul would not feel the fascination I did. He would, nonetheless, follow me.

I bounded over to the cage containing a few Loth-Cat's and crouched down in front of it.

"Hello," I greeted them excitedly and wriggled my fingers between the bars. The nearest kitten licked and gnawed painlessly at my finger, it's tiny paw pressing down on the other.

"Lady Erith, I was not aware you took such an interest in animals," My eyes rose to the Zygerrian booth operator.

"Oh, of course," I beamed up at the man before returning my attention to the kitten, who let out a small mew when I wriggled my finger free of it's teeth. I felt Maul's leg brush against my back as a warning not to get too close to the Zygerrian.

"Allow me to get that for you," The Zygerrian reached into the cage and lifted out the kitten I had been playing with. He held it towards me and I stood, receiving it eagerly. The kitten crawled up as close to my face as it could get and sniffed, licked, nipped, and pawed at it.


	3. Chapter 3

"Alright, alright!" I giggled and nudged it's cheek with my nose before holding it away from my face. "That was quite the welcome," I said as I rubbed it's chest with my thumbs.

"If I may, my Lady, I believe I have some other wears you may be interested to see," The Zygerrian said as he took the kitten from my hands.

"Oh?" I questioned and he kindly offered me his arm. Before I could reach for him a hand wound around my arm.

I looked back at Maul. I had almost entirely forgotten his presence.

"Don't worry," I touched his hand and his fingers flinched away. "I'll be back in just a moment. I promise I won't take long," I took the Zygerrian's arm and he lead me to the small cargo ship parked behind his booth.

"Amazing!" I leaned in closer to get a good look at the creature in front of me. It was an accipiptero from the Degobah system. I'd read about them before and seen pictures, but I'd never seen one in person.

The creature lashed out at the cage and I jumped back.

"Careful," The Zygerrian warned with a chuckle. I had backed right into him and he was holding my upper arms for support.

"Here," The Zygerrian twined his fingers with mine and began reaching our hands towards the cage.

"Are you sure?" I asked, hesitating.

"Mmm-hm," He hummed in my ear. It was difficult, if not impossible, to resist such a hypnotic sound. Our hands entered the cage and my pulse raced. The accipiptero hissed and flicked it's tongue, nosing ever closer. It seemed to taste the air a few inches from our hands.

"Come on now," The Zygerrian coaxed. The accipiptero came close enough to flick it's tongue across our fingers. "There you go," It nudged it's nose against The back of the Zygerrian's hand and then my palm.

"Good girl," I knew he was talking to the accipiptero, but I couldn't help the shiver that ran down my spine. He pressed closer to me.

The Zygerrian let go of my hand and allowed me to pet the creature myself, now that we knew it wouldn't bite me.

"She likes you. You should feel lucky. Creatures like her are difficult to come by," His tone was suggestive and I was finding myself less and less interested in the creature in front of me. I withdrew my hand and took a step away from the cage.

"Of all the precious creatures I have had in my possession, you may be the loveliest of them all," The Zygerrian stepped in front of me and backed me up to the wall of the ship.

"Out of all of them? Are you sure" I asked, my voice and body feeling heavy.

"Yes," He smiled, rubbed the back of his hand over his lips, and then touched them to mine. At first, I took the sudden calm that fell over me to be the release of chemicals. Then, I realized that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't open my eyes.

I awoke some time later, greeted by the cold, hard ground. What I saw when I opened my eyes was a cell. It was laser locked and there were no windows. I couldn't see anyone behind the flickering red and I couldn't hear anything but the buzzing of electricity.

I'd been a fool. I should have known better than to have followed a Zygerrian anywhere. I thought I was safe. Maul was near enough even with me on a ship. I had assumed if anything went wrong he would be able to get me out of it. He must not have been able to stop the ship in time. After all, even he couldn't stop an entire ship by himself.

I closed my eyes tightly and scolded myself. My father would never forgive Maul, but it would be Maul he would send to get me. Just the same, Maul will always think me a fool, and though he may currently be correct, I will never make a mistake like this again. Until now I have never given him reason to dislike me, though I know he is also not fond of me. I do not want to be on the wrong side of him. I must do something to fix this.


	4. Chapter 4

"Well, look who's awake," The familiar voice of the Zygerrian who had conned me. "You're welcome, by the way. We're usually much rougher with our sentient cargo," He crouched in front of the door and broke into a wolfish grin.

"You will regret bringing me here," I warned, my eyes narrowed.

"I don't think I will," The Zygerrian said with a laugh. "You, my pet, will fetch a high price on the market. Perhaps I'll sell you to the Hut's. They're always looking for pretty girls," I grimaced. "Besides, you seem to have a taste for the exotic," He licked his lips and left me once again to sit in my prison.

So, this is what I get for trying to enjoy myself, is it? There is going to be a lovely mess to clean up when I get home.

I spent several hours waiting for something, anything, to happen. Eventually, I lied down and fell asleep once more on the uncomfortable floor. It wouldn't have killed them to throw a blanket into the cell.

The sudden silence awoke me. The door was wide open and the Zygerrian was standing just inside the cell.

"It is time for your inspection, Pet," The door locked once again behind him. I stood, prepared to struggle, as I knew I couldn't win against him.

"Easy now," The Zygerrian gripped my dress and I allowed him to pull it off of me, though he still did so roughly.

"You appear to have lovely skin," The back of his fingers traced town my bare stomach. "But I'll need a closer look," He ran his fingers through my hair, tugged at my cheeks and searched for small imperfections in my face and neck. He gradually moved lower, removing whatever clothing remained and scanning carefully over every inch of my skin.

"Minimal damage. Just a few small scars. No one will ever notice," I was hoping that the inspection was over, considering he'd closely eyed and felt every inch of my skin, but I wasn't so lucky.

Two of his fingers entered me. I grimaced and looked away, disgusted not only because it was happening, but because I would have welcomed it earlier.

"Soiled, what a shame. Though not a surprise," The Zygerrian stood to his full height and jerked my chin so I was forced to look at him. "You did seem rather eager yesterday. I wonder if you will be as compliant now," He smirked and pushed me up against the back wall of the cell. On impulse, I spat in his face.

The Zygerrian's sly expression turned to one of rage. I tensed up, realizing my mistake and wishing I could have taken it back. I shrunk before him as he wiped the saliva from his cheek. Quicker than I could have anticipated, he spun me to face the wall and practically crushed me up against it.

"Don't struggle. It would be a shame to damage such high priced merchandise," His naked erection pressed against my thigh and I did everything I could to shut out the moment. It was physically painful even with him trying not to grab me too hard. He yanked my head back by my hair and ran his tongue across my exposed neck. All the hair on my body stood on end and I could only think of one thing.

Maul.

He was my only hope. I knew father would send him, but how easy would it be to find me? The first place he would check is Zygerria, but what if that's not where I am? And even if I am, how will he find me on this huge planet?

I tried to twist my body out of the uncomfortable arched position it was in. This unfortunately brought my body closer to the Zygerrian's and the chuckle in my ear led me to believe he took it for compliance. It didn't take long after that for him to be done with me. When he stepped away I sank to my knees and didn't look at him as he took my clothes and left me alone.


	5. Chapter 5

There was nothing for me to do but lie there. There wasn't a single thing in the room but me. There wasn't even a vent I could bloody my fingers trying to rip out of the ceiling. I was stuck in a cage, left to think about what a fool I am to have gotten myself into this.

Over the next few days the Zygerrian fed me rarely and humiliated me often. He whipped me in an attempt to break me and I put up no resistance. I began losing hope that Maul, or anyone my father could employ, would ever find me. If, by some miracle, someone did I'd be lost to misery and pain by the time they caught my scent.

After what I presume to be a week of entrapment the Zygerrian chained my wrists behind my back and led me out into the streets. I kept my eyes on the ground, mostly so I didn't have to look at anyone. My feet became dusty and ached from exposure to the hot, dry ground by the time the Zygerrian stopped to sell me. He had me stand on a crate and stood next to me, rattling my chains, looking all too pleased with himself.

Several people came and cooed over me, negotiating a price, but never coming to an agreement. Eventually, a snakelike hiss prompted me to raise my eyes. Before me were two Trandoshans.

"This one looks familiar," The nearest one hissed.

"This is Erith, the daughter of Senator Palpatine of Naboo," The Zygerrian informed him proudly. He tugged on my chains and I wobbled, trying to stay away from the edge of the crate. The Trandoshan hummed and stroked his face.

"How is she?" He asked, scanning my body with his reptilian red eyes.

"She's healthy and doesn't put up much of a fight. She does still seem to believe her father will still save her, however," The three men chuckled.

"Name your price," The Trandoshan said, stepping closer to me. Even standing on the crate he was head level with me. I did everything I could not to look at him, but the oily smell of his scales didn't give me the benefit of removing myself from reality.

"Ten thousand credits," The Trandoshan flinched at the price and the bartering began. I had a sinking feeling that this was it. My eyes darted around frantically, looking for an escape, but there were none.

The Trandoshan paid over nine thousand credits for me and just as the Zygerrian was handing over the chain I decided to take action, no matter how futile it may be. I jumped against the Zygerrian with all my weight and sent him toppling to the ground. Seeing the chain still firmly in his grip, I sank my teeth into his hand. He howled and, to my surprise, the chain slipped free. I gathered it up in my arms and ran.

Hope and fear stung my chest as I moved down the street as fast as my feet would take me. People shouted behind me, but no one stood in to stop me. I had no plan as to where to go or how to lose them, but I knew running in a straight line wasn't going to help. I turned down the first ally I saw and then took a left, back in the direction I'd come.

To my dismay, there were several men blocking my exit. I'd have bowled right through them, but the shock of seeing them must have slowed me down. A clawed hand snatched my hair from behind and scratched my scalp.

"No," I screeched, kicking as I was lifted off the ground. "Maul!" The voice that tore from my throat was so full of anguish that I didn't recognize it. I was dragged backwards down the ally, kicking and screaming.

The Trandoshan men kicked and hissed at me as they physically dragged me through the dirt to their ship. Dust clotted the blood dripping from fresh wounds caused by rocks and other debris on the rough ground. Just as my back touched the smooth ramp of their ship I spotted it; a flash of red concealed in black.

"Maul!" I screamed again, hoping I wasn't imagining it. Wide orange eyes met mine from under a hood and a wave of relief and urgency crashed over me. I called for him again, pulling harder against my restraints. He was here. He was going to save me. I had to get to him.


	6. Chapter 6

The Trandoshans caught on as Maul started in our direction. They fired blasters at him and managed to hold him off long enough to get into the ship and lock up. A glowing red light pierced the wall of the ship nearest to my head. The Trandoshans called for their pilot to take off.

A dread even stronger than before overcame me as we became airborne and my rescue was a failed mission. One of the Trandoshans lifted me to my feet and pushed his face into mine.

"What do the Jedi want with you?" He hissed and tightened his grip on my arm. The tips of his claws pierced my flesh and I winced. When I didn't answer the question he threw me at the nearest wall.

"Hey, watch it! Don't break our toy on the first day," The other Trandoshan scolded.

In that moment I'd have jumped right out of the ship if I could have.

My new captors were much less careful than the Zygerrian had been. They were not afraid of damaging me and even if they had the intention of being gentle their wicket claws and apparently unstoppable urge to bite kept me bloody and sore. The ship seemed to move constantly and they never took me off it. They only stopped for a few hours at a time, which killed my hope of being discovered.

After the second week I was broken in body and mind. I had resigned myself to this fate and wished nothing more than to be killed. The only way things could have been worse would be for me to become pregnant with their scaly, sharp toothed spawn, but I wasn't sure it was physically possible for our two species to breed. I hoped I'd find a way to die before I could find out.

On the third week I started actively looking for ways to kill myself. I refused to eat and provoked them in physical interactions in hopes that they would become so enraged they would tear my throat out. At night I was haunted by the feeling of their scales against my skin. I smelled like them, like oil and dirt. I didn't feel human anymore.

One morning, a ship docked with ours. I was sitting in my cell, which I was typically confined to. I didn't bother wondering who was boarding the ship until the alarm sounded and red lights distorted my vision. Slowly, I sat up trying to distinguish in my sleepy haze if I was actually awake or if this was a dream. Blaster shots rang out and a familiar whooshing graced my ears. I knew it was a light saber.

I sat up straighter and stared intensely at the closed door of my cell. My heart raced so quickly it caused my head to swim. Nearby footsteps caused me to rise unsteadily to my feet. I held the wall for support.

The door to my cell opened to reveal and frightened and wounded Trandoshan. He limped inside and grabbed me by the arm.

"You're coming with me," He growled and led me into the hall. There were several dead bodies littering the floor and I could hear fighting in the distance.

"Who is it?" I inquired in an underused voice. The Trandoshan didn't reply. Just as he pressed the button for the escape pod a black cloaked figure wielding a double ended blade came into view. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I still wasn't sure it wasn't a dream.

Maul turned his head and locked eyes with me. Luckily, the sight of him froze the Trandoshan readying the escape pod. Maul force pushed the man he was sparing with far out of sight and rushed in our direction. In the blink of an eye he was inches from me and I could feel the heat of his blade as it pierced through the man holding me. Before there was truly time for me to comprehend the situation I was over Maul's shoulder and the world around me was a red blur.

Upon entering the cockpit of Maul's ship he sat me in a chair. I watched distantly, as if in a dream, as he disengaged the ship and readied it for hyperspace. Once he was free to roam, he lifted me to my feet and turned my face this way and that, examining the scabbed over cuts.

"Maul," My voice was so silent he wouldn't have been able to hear it had he not been so close. I focused on his glowing eyes and the face I had fought so hard to solidify in my mind over the past weeks.

He removed his heavy cloak and draped it over my shoulders.


	7. Chapter 7

"I'm sorry," As soon as the words passed my lips he sneered and shoved me back into my seat. The moment jarred me, but the pain I feared he would cause me was not physical. I jumped to my feet and hurried to follow his long strides.

"Maul!" I reached out a steady hand and took a fistful of his shirt. He stopped, but did not turn to face me. "I've been a fool. I should have listened to you. I should have heeded my father's warning," I stepped closer to him and buried my face into his back.

"Please, forgive me," I begged as tears finally slipped from my closed eyes.

I let go as I felt his body turn. There was a moment of pause as I stared up into his face and he down at mine. I couldn't read the expression in his eyes. I could only plead with my own. Then he struck me. I held my burning cheek, shocked for only a moment. I knew I deserved his abuse. I sunk to the ground as he turned again to leave.

I remember sobbing on the floor, feeling my savior's hatred crash over me like waves. Though I could not identify the reason, I wanted so much for him not to hate me. I had spent nearly my entire life in his presence. I had always found him fascinating, probably because he never spoke and I had seen his displays of immeasurable strength before. I had always wanted to know him, but now that he had saved me, I felt I had to.

I have no memory of falling asleep on the control room floor, but the next thing I saw was my own bed in my father's home. With my vision trained on the ceiling I had though myself alone. I flinched when a hand gently touched mine.

"Daughter," My father's voice was full of relief. "I did not mean to frighten you. You are safe now. You are home," My head lulled in the direction of his voice and I scanned his face.

"Father," The word came out more like a question. Some part of me still felt like I was in a dream.

"Yes," He patted my hand. "Maul rescued you from the Trandoshan ship. Do you remember?" Images of reptilian men, dark walls, and Maul's eyes flashed through my mind. What snapped me into reality was the stinging memory of his hand against my cheek. My brows knitted together and a deep groan escaped my lips.

"He hates me, father," A look of confusion overcame his soft features.

"Who hates you, dear?" He leaned closer as if it were a secret I was telling him.

"Maul; it's all my fault. I didn't listen to him. Now he thinks I..." What does he think of me? Before, he saw me as nothing. I was of no concern to him. My occasional mention of his presence was probably an annoyance. Now, though, he probably thinks I'm a stupid little girl. He must have the lowest opinion of me.

"Maul does not hate you, my child. I can assure you of that," My father gently brushed his fingers across my damaged cheek.

"How do you know?" I questioned, genuinely hoping he could give me some inkling that he was correct. I wanted there to be hope.

"You have known each other for nearly your entire lives. I am sure he looks fondly upon you. He took great care in rescuing you from those terrible men and returning you to me," I could only frown, as I knew it wasn't true.

"No, he does not care for me," I insisted with a brief shake of my head.

"Why is this important to you, daughter?" His fingers came to a halt and he rested his palm on my face. I found myself unable to answer, as I had not quite figured it out myself.

"You are fond of him?" My father questioned. I nodded, feeling sheepish and small. "That comes as no surprise. You have always enjoyed his presence, even in unconsciousness," A small smile graced his lips. He must have sensed my confusion.

"I have never seen you hold anything so tightly as you did him when he brought you back," I was taken aback by this and even more surprised that my father seemed so accepting of my clear attachment to his apprentice.


	8. Chapter 8

"All is well. You must rest," He kissed my forehead before leaving me alone with my thoughts.

An uncomfortable heat rose to my face. What does that mean? He sounded so knowing, as if I've been harboring some secret. As if me clinging to safety had some deeper meaning. Does it? Why is it that I so deeply desire Maul's approval?

My healing process was slow. The physical wounds healed much quicker than the psychological ones, though I was left with facial scars. I developed a tendency to flinch away from touch and panic at loud sounds. I dreaded going to bed at night and often slept with my door open and all of the lights on. There was a disturbance within me that I could not rid myself of.

For the first time since my return, Sabra left Casta with me. I was hesitant to agree, as I wasn't confident in myself anymore. It was, however, impossible to say no to such a sweet face.

I sat on the couch in our roomy living area, flooded with natural light. Casta was on the floor playing some noisy toy my sister had left me with. The sound was giving me a headache, but I couldn't bare to take it away from him.

Footsteps caught my attention. Assuming it to be my father, I looked over my shoulder towards the doorway. I was surprised to see Maul enter the room and proceed towards the nearest book case. I had barely seen him since he brought me back. My father always had him away on missions. Because of this, I hadn't had the chance to properly thank him.

I looked at Casta to be sure he wouldn't get into anything in the few moments it took me to speak to Maul. I felt uncharacteristically nervous as I approached him.

"I haven't had the chance to thank you," I stood about a foot behind him, knowing he was well aware of my presence.

"I was following orders," He grumbled into the pages of a book.

"It's more than that. You saved my life," Maul turned his head just enough so that he could slant his gaze in my direction.

"Do you think you deserved to be saved?" His tone was cold and quiet. Immense sorrow and anger overwhelmed me, creating a storm of confusion.

"I did not _deserve_ to be enslaved. Do you have any idea what those men did to me? I did _not_ deserve that," I hissed back, moving ever closer to him and peering around at his face. He simply returned his eyes to the book, but I was having none of it.

"Look at me!" I grabbed his shoulder and pulled. He, of course, did not budge. His eyes met mine for a brief second.

"How dare you say that? I made a mistake and it was not fair to be dehumanized for it," I could not calm the rage boiling over.

"There are consequences to your actions. That was a lesson you needed to learn. Perhaps now you will not be so reckless," He began to walk away, an open book still in hand. My shoulders sank and I did not follow. I did, however, respond.

"You're right about that," Because of my foolishness I was never going to be so reckless and trusting again.

I walked back to the couch and picked up Casta. He whined and tugged at my shirt.

"You must be hungry," I stood, holding him with one arm and bracing him against my hip. He fussed and squirmed as I prepared him a bottle. I wandered back to the couch before I began feeding him.

Spending time with Casta was always rather peaceful. He rarely threw fits and was typically a very happy and active child. It was moments like these that made me feel the most level headed. Feeding him is a simple, necessary task and tends to make both of us very sleepy. Watching his face and feeling his tiny, warm body against mine must be the most comforting thing in the world. For the first time since returning from my own personal hell, I felt undisturbed.

My eyes wandered the room. I had entirely forgotten Maul was there until I caught him watching me. He didn't seem to notice that I'd spied him, as he was looking more at Casta than at me. Though his interest made me curious, I looked away lest he catch me watching.


	9. Chapter 9

After eating, Casta typically falls asleep. Today, however, he seemed to have other plans. He squirmed to get down, so I placed him on the floor. He got on his hands and knees and began crawling straight for Maul, who was no longer watching. I prepared myself to get up and retrieve him, but only after I saw what happened.

Casta was near enough to Maul to reach out his hand, but was pushed back by a gentle force push. He seemed confused and crawled towards him once again. Maul pushed him back once more. This time Casta squealed in delight and was eager to crawl forward and be pushed again. Unfortunately, seeing that he was unintentionally bringing the child joy, Maul allowed Casta to reach him. Casta pulled himself to a standing position by grabbing at Maul's pant leg. He reached up with one hand, cooing and wishing to be held. Knowing that wasn't going to happen, I decided now was a good time to retrieve him.

"He likes you," I stated and I lifted Casta from the ground. "You should have some compassion, at least for a few people. It won't make you any less of a Sith lord. After all, isn't my father the most powerful man in the galaxy?" Casta still seemed determined to get to Maul, reaching and stretching with all his might.

"Isn't the dark side about letting your emotions consume you? Hatered and pain are powerful, but they are fueled by love and the care of someone other than yourself. Besides, what's the fun in living only for yourself," A small smile tugged at my lips. Smiling had become rare and felt foreign.

Seeing as there was no response from Maul, I decided to leave and lay Casta down for his nap. On the way, I passed by my father's office and heard my name.

"I just can't understand how Erith is comfortable around him. I know he does your work, Father, but he's not like you. He's an assassin; a cold blooded monster," It was Sabra's voice. I was surprised she was still here. It was hours ago that she left Casta with me.

"Your sister has always been a curious girl and Maul presents a mystery for her. She must sense something within him, just like I did all those years ago," My previously mentioned curiosity was piqued and I tilted my head towards the door.

"But what? She isn't force sensitive, so it can't be his power," Sabra sounded confused and unconvinced.

"No, no, nothing like that," My father sounded like he was deep in thought.

"I will not speak further on this matter. She must discover this for herself and I fear if you were to know what I suspect, you would interfere," With that I continued walking, but slower as my mind was elsewhere.

It was a fact of life that I would never stop trying to get into Maul's head and that I would always feel the desire to be close to him in some way. For me, he is a representation of home. He is safety and security. I have known him since we were children. My feelings are to be expected. Aren't they?

I reached Casta's nursery and lied him down in his crib. He has fallen asleep on the walk and barely stirred when I set him down. I drew my fingers across his soft, pudgy belly, smiling at the sight of his nose scrunching up and his tiny hands moving to push mine away. I watched him for a moment to make sure he would remain asleep before I left and went to my own room.

I made myself comfortable on my bed, propped up by an enormous amount of pillows and read until I heard Casta awaken. I had a peaceful evening playing with him and speaking with my father. For the first time in ages, I felt relatively normal. When I decided to retire for the night I was comfortable enough to turn off all of the lights, though I did leave the door open.

I was awoken late in the night by a shrill cry coming from the monitor. I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake myself up enough to drag myself out of bed. I pushed my heavy blankets aside and swung my legs over the bed. I felt light and wobbly as I wandered down the moonlit corridor. When I reached Casta's nursery the door was cracked and I couldn't hear any crying inside. Assuming my father had gotten to him first, I entered the room to keep him company.


	10. Chapter 10

"Oh," The small note of surprise passed over my lips before I could stop it.

Standing in front of the crib was Maul. In the dim light I could see the contorted look on his face as he peered down at the small child he held against his chest.

"I don't suppose you're taking my advice," I said, stepping reluctantly into the room. I felt lucky for having witnessed such an act of humanity from him and feared disturbing the moment.

"I have never held a child. I always assumed they would fear me," Maul still held a slight scowl. I could not distinguish the emotion in his voice.

"Put your hand here, on his head," I approached them showed Maul how to properly cradle Casta's head. "There," I placed my hand over-top Maul's and stroked my thumb across Casta's soft head. Maul grunted and I could feel his glaring eyes on me. He did not appear willing to move, so I removed my hand and stepped back from him, leaning back against the crib.

"They're fascinating, aren't they?" I said, my eyes set comfortably on Casta's sleeping form in the hands of such a vicious man.

"Infants? I should hardly think so," Maul looked from me to Casta.

"You were interested enough to tend to him," I reminded him with a small smile and the quirk of an eyebrow. "Why is that?" I couldn't help inquiring. I was genuinely curious. For the young child's entire life up to this point Maul had adamantly ignored him.

"I do not have to explain myself to you," The usual anger he spoke with filled his voice.

"No," I chuckled and reached my hands out for Casta. Maul clumsily handed him over.

"He needs changed," I stated and walked the short distance to the changing table. Casta woke up almost immediately and began crying and reaching for Maul once he realized I wasn't him.

"Hush now. Sith Lords don't change diapers," I told Casta in good humor. To my surprise, Maul didn't leave the room now that he was no longer in possession of Casta. He stood by and watched with a wrinkled nose.

"Give him your finger," I waved a hand at Maul as I reached for the baby wipes. He hesitated and glanced at me questioningly before extending his hand towards the crying child. Casta took one of his fingers in his own and his squalling settled into whines.

"I wonder what it is he sees in you," I said more to myself than to Maul. Perhaps Maul radiated a sense of safety to Casta, one stronger than my own.

"You know," I began on a whim as the thought overcame me. "When I was being held by those men my only hope was that you would find me. I knew my father would send you and I knew that if I could be rescued, you would be the one to do it. I thought about you often. I tried to remember your face and your strength, and it gave me hope.

"I know you aren't particularly fond of me. I'm sure you view me as weak and reckless. To you, my life is probably meaningless," I lifted Casta, who was now changed and redressed. Maul's finger slipped from his grip.

"I want to make it quite clear that regardless of what your opinion is of me, I do care about you. If you asked me why...I'm not sure I could tell you," If I hadn't been so utterly exhausted I probably would have felt embarrassed spilling my guts the way I had.

"You should hold him again. Just until he falls asleep," I handed Casta to Maul, who did not protest my request. I watched as he situated the child the way I had showed him and, though I could have watched for hours, I knew I was no longer needed.

"I'll leave you alone," I walked from the room, leaving the door cracked the way I had found it. A small smile overcame me as I returned to my room and burrowed under my blankets. I felt utterly safe and light as a feather. It took no time at all for me to drift back to sleep.

I awoke early to wake Casta and gather the things Sabra had left with him. When I entered the nursery I was surprised to find Casta wasn't the only occupant of the room. Maul was lying on the couch, which was much to small for him. His hand was settled over Casta's back from where he rested on Maul's chest. For a moment I just stood in the doorway, wondering to myself what had provoked this drastic change in attitude.


	11. Chapter 11

I walked up to the couch and crouched down.

"Wake up," I touched Maul's arm, shaking it gently. His eyes snapped open, the ferocity of their sunset color betraying the peaceful expression he donned while sleeping.

"Sabra will be here to pick up Casta soon," My fingers brushed Maul's bare chest as I lifted Casta from him. "Imagine the fit she would throw if she saw this," I rolled my eyes at the thought. I could feel Maul walk up behind me as I changed Casta. I took a second to glance over my shoulder at him.

"Something on your mind?" There clearly was, but I didn't expect him to tell me. His stoic expression was restored and he seemed firmly rooted to where he stood. His fists were clenched at his sides.

"I've over slept," He stated in a very as a matter of fact tone.

"Yes," I looked at him again, this time feeling confused. His eyes were still locked on Casta's face. "Father will be looking for you," I offered him an escape and he took it, leaving the room after a stiff nod.

"How strange," I mused to myself. I changed Casta's clothes and fed him before gathering his things. By the time I went to the dining room to meet my father for breakfast, Sabra was waiting for me.

"How was he?" She asked as I handed him over to her.

"Wonderful, as usual," I assured her with a smile.

"You seem better for it," She held pity in her eyes, but I ignored it. She was, of course, correct. Watching Casta for the day turned out to be the best thing for me.

"Well, I should be going. Someone has a play date," Sabra bounced Casta and he giggled, reaching for her face.

We said our goodbyes and I sat at the table, waiting for Father to join me. A droid brought me water to sip on as I waited and I allowed my mind to wander.

What a strange day I'd had. Maul had acted rather strangely, though his demeanor never changed. As usual, I had no insight into what he was thinking. Clearly he was curious about Casta, but why? He never had been before.

Images of the night before flooded my mind. There was nothing more attractive to a woman than a man holding a child. It's certainly instinct and not one that can be easily overlooked. There are many qualities that beings look for in a partner; strength, intelligence, protectiveness. What I'd seen in Maul was perfect, as far as my primal being was concerned.

I shook my head firmly and rubbed my tired face.

No, I can't think of him like that. He would never reciprocate and even if he did, what kind of relationship would that be? He is cruel and appears to feel nothing but anger. He is not a social being. His only focus is on his training and destroying the Jedi order. Even if hatred is best fueled by love, he would never take that path.

"I apologize for my tardiness. My apprentice was also running late this morning," Father said as he entered the room. I was jarred from my thoughts. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?" I could feel my face heat up as he sat across from me.

"No," I stammered quickly. "Should I?" This time I managed to calm myself before speaking.

"I don't know. That's why I asked," I could feel his eyes boring into me. He knew something. He at least knew that I was lying, but anyone would have been able to tell.

A droid placed a plate of food in front of me and I immediately picked up my fork and began poking at it. "He was probably just exhausted from his missions. You have been running him quite a bit lately," I said, hoping to divert the course of the conversation. It worked.

I was lucky enough to spend breakfast talking politics, which usually I would have despised. I was though, because of the avoided conversation, going to have a pleasant meal. That thought left me when the door to the dining room flew open and I was tackled to the ground.


	12. Chapter 12

My journey to the ground was lost in a flurry of motion. Once pinned to the floor I found myself struggling to breathe and clutching my attackers clothes tightly. When my world stopped spinning I realized it was Maul who had tackled me. His teeth were bared, head slightly turned as he glared over his shoulder. Before I could register more than his face there were three blaster shots, a grunt, and strangled screaming.

"Erith!" My father's voice called in the now buzzing silence.

Maul's face had become distorted in pain and rage. He let out a cry as he pushed himself to his knees.

"Erith!" My father called again, pushing Maul roughly out of the way.

"No!" I pulled out of my father's grasp and rushed to Maul's side. I peeked over his shoulder to see exactly what I'd suspected. He had been shot.

"Get a medical droid, now!" I shouted at the other droids who had gathered around the door. Maul shoved me away from him, but I was suddenly too shocked to be offended. Lying dead on the floor were two Zygerrian's.

"Are there more?" My father asked, approaching us swiftly. "Are there more?" He shouted more forcefully and shook Maul by the shoulders. His hate filled gaze met my father's and he shook his head.

"Dispose of them," My father ordered a droid as he ran from the room.

I remained kneeling next to Maul, attempting to catch my breath. It had all happened so quickly. My sense of safety was shattered and Maul had taken three shots for me. I clenched my fists so tightly I could feel my nails digging into the flesh of my palm.

"What do they want with me?" The Zygerrian who took me had received exactly what he was looking for; a profit. Why would he come for me again?

"Oh my," A voice broke through the commotion in my head. The medical droid had arrived. It kicked the bodies of the Zygerrian's out of the way, forming a clear path to the door.

"Quite some trouble you've gotten yourself into, Master Maul," The droid chirped.

"Well, get him up, get him up," I rose to the balls of my feet and slid one arm behind Maul's back. I steadied him as he tried to stand and attempted not to put pressure on the searing holes in his back. His pain seemed to fuel our walk to the surgical room.

I remained in the room, watching as Maul eased out of his shirt and the droid examined his wounds. I probably flinched more than he did.

After several minutes of biting my thumb and worrying, my father walked into the room. I jumped slightly and pressed a hand to my chest as if I could physically force my heart to slow.

"What is his condition?" My father asked sternly, hands clasped behind his back.

"He will recover, Master Palpatine. He should be good as new by tomorrow," The droid responded without skipping a beat.

"Good," Anger still pulsed from his eyes and his voice, but it all melted away when he looked at me.

"Erith," He pulled me into an embrace. "Are you alright?" I was quick to pull away from him.

"Yes," I responded with a bit of venom. I crossed my arms tightly across my stomach and looked back towards Maul with a concerned expression. He was unconscious now from an injection the droid had given him.

"Perhaps you should be more focused on the one who was actually injured," I suggested coldly.

"My apprentice is accustom to pain. You are not," He said as he waved away my concern.

"Aren't I though?" I could feel an uncontrollable anger bubbling in my chest. "Have I not become acquainted with pain? The physical; that is nothing. Even _he_ has not felt the pain that I have; the pain of having your humanity ripped away from you. Of becoming an object," My father stiffened and Maul stirred suddenly in his sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

"My daughter, I have not forgotten the tragedies you have suffered. I simply cannot bear the thought of harm coming to you. As my apprentice, Maul can be replaced. You, on the other hand, cannot be," As usual, my father was far too good at defusing my anger.

My shoulders fell and I walked a few steps away, my back now facing him. The adrenaline hadn't quite worn off. I rubbed my arms and paced.

"Sit," My father steered me to a chair and, reluctantly, I sat.

"These people will not drive us from our home. Maul's strength will be restored by morning and from that point, until this matter is resolved, he is not to leave your side," I propped my elbows on my knees and buried my face in my hands. This wasn't the way I had hoped to spend more time with Maul.

"Erith," My father crouched in front of me and placed his hands on my shoulders. "You _will_ be protected and we _will_ have revenge. This path will not be easy and you may have to do things that frighten you in order to remain safe. Maul may have failed once, but I do not believe it will happen a second time. You must do whatever he asks of you," I nodded with a defeated sigh.

"Now come," He took my hand and lifted me to my feet. I hesitated and slid my gaze over to Maul. His face was contorted and a droid was inserting an IV into his arm.

"I should stay," I insisted without bothering to veil the concern in my voice.

"I am sure he would benefit from your company," My father said with a soft smile. "I will have your meals and books sent to you, and guards will be posted at the door," He pecked me on the cheek before leaving me alone with Maul and the droid.

"I do hope you realize your presence is of no benefit to Master Maul's health," The droid stated as I pulled a chair up to the bed.

"Perhaps," I pulled my knees up to my chest and watched Maul sleep. He looked very different than he had when I found him earlier. His mouth was slightly agape and his face twitched and contorted. It looked like he was in pain or having a nightmare.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, replaying the attack with a clearer mind. The fall had actually been more painful than I realized. My hip felt bruised and my arm ached. The full weight of the fact that I literally had someone willing to take shots for me sunk in. I reopened my eyes and reached out a hand, touching it gently to Maul's cheek. A muscle twitched under my fingers and his face suddenly fell into serenity. I knew then that I had made the right choice by staying.

I spent the rest of the day reading and watching every time Maul moved. He never remained settled for long. He tossed and turned and twitched and groaned. When his arm lifted I decided to focus on him for more than a second. He reached for his chest, fingers splayed. He patted his chest, grimaced, and then drew his fingers in, scraping his nails across his skin. I reached out to stop him and placed his hand back at his side.

Just as I started to move away his fingers tightened around my hand. I froze, looking from our hands to his face. He groaned and his head tilted in my direction. I took his hand in both of mine and leaned my elbows on the edge of the bed. I examined and traced the markings across his fingers until my mind was elsewhere.

I must have been so far from the room that I fell asleep without even realizing. My own knuckles were pressed uncomfortably into the side of my face. I lifted my hea up just a bit and rubbed my sore cheek. I realized then that I'd been holding something. The days previous events came rushing back and I turned to check on Maul.

"You have no obligation to remain here," Maul was wide awake, his eyes boring into me.

"You saved me again," I sat up, stretching my stiff back and rubbing my tired eyes.

"It is my duty to preserve your life," His voice sounded pleasantly rough. He turned his head away from me and lifted his arm, examining the IV.

I groaned at his dismissive attitude and leaned back in my chair. "Why can't you accept my kindness?" Getting through to him was much more exhausting than I'd expected, though I did have a feeling it was my own fault.


	14. Chapter 14

"Kindness softens a person," His eyes fell shut. "I must not become weak," I watched as his fists clenched. He was clearly struggling with some internal conflict.

"So everyone must be cold and unfeeling towards you?" While he was answering questions I figured I would keep asking.

"I do not wish to be looked upon as a friend. As a Sith Lord I am to be feared, yet you refuse to fear me," He was looking at me again, eyes narrowed. I could feel his familiar anger returning.

"Your job is to save me. You said it yourself. Why should I fear you?" He growled and sat up, ripping the IV from his arm. I flinched. He stood and loomed over me.

"You will not be my weakness," He spoke through his teeth. In any other situation I would have shrunk away from such a large and intimidating being.

"That will not stop you from being mine," I stood and brushed past him, intending to leave. He snatched my wrist just as the door to the room opened.

My father entered and raised his eyebrows questioningly. It was the sort of look your parents give you when they know you're doing something you're not supposed to. It made me feel small and embarrassed.

"I see you're awake," My father said, finally strolling further into the room.

"I do hope you weren't planning to leave," He turned his eyes to me. Maul let go of my wrist and I stepped to the side.

"Given yesterday morning's events your current orders are to remain by Erith's side at all times," Maul straightened and took his orders with the stiff professionalism I was used to seeing. "The two of your clearly have your differences and remaining in such close quarters may lead to some conflict. I trust the both of you will find a way to overcome your differences and come to a friendly understanding," My father turned his stern gaze on both of us.

"Erith is not to go outside or leave your presence for any reason. A cot will be set up for you in her room. I suggest you dress and gather what is of importance to you from your quarters," Maul nodded and my father's gaze turned once again to me.

"As I said earlier, you are to cooperate with him. If this arrangement is to fail you will be held just as responsible as Maul," I too nodded in understanding. Apparently feeling satisfied with his orders my father's gave us one last look before exiting the room.

Maul was quick to dress and I gathered the few books I had lying around. I followed him from the room. I stared tensely out every window we passed, wondering if there was someone hiding in the scenery watching my every move. I held my books tighter to my chest and forced myself to focus on Maul's back. If I was, in fact, being watched, there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I had never seen Maul's quarters before. There had never been a reason for me to be anywhere near them. When I imagined it, I saw dim light and dark colors. In reality, it was nothing like that. His room was bright, mostly white, and very plain. Everything was neatly in place and he didn't appear to have many personal affects. I stood by the door, watching silently as he gathered a stack of clothing in his arms.

Upon entering my room to drop off the clothing I plopped down on my bed, still clutching my books. A large window took up the entire left side of my room. The sight of it made me terribly uncomfortable.

Maul seated himself in the center of the room facing the window. I stood at the foot of my bed, watching him, anger rising from my stomach to my chest to my throat…

"So, this is what we're doing all day? Staring at the window and waiting for assassins to show up?" The words burst out of me and my arms flopped against my sides.

Maul's head turned slightly in my direction.

"Yes. Sit," His voice was surprisingly calm.

"For how long? Are we just going to sit and stare out the window for days until they come and you kill all of them? What if they send more? How are we going to know when it's over?" I would have said more, but before I could Maul was on his feet and bearing down on me. He grabbed my shirt, causing me to loose balance. I perched on the edge of the bed and his face remained so near to mine I could feel his breath.


	15. Chapter 15

"You are going to sit here, safe, _protected_ , and you are not going to speak a single word or I will _let them_ take you," His words were slow and deliberate. Tears sprang to my eyes and a lump formed in my throat. I couldn't speak. I couldn't even think of anything to say.

So, Maul went back to his place on the floor and I sat there on the bed. I wanted to tell myself that I didn't really believe he would let the Zygerrian's have me, but why wouldn't he? I was more trouble than I was worth, just some rich girl with Sith connections. My father might kill him if he let me get captured again, but lets face it, Maul could get away before that happened.

And then there's the small matter of he hates me and I basically fucking love him. Why, god damn it? What am I thinking? He's insane. He's cruel and cold and dangerous and I've never seen him express normal human emotions. And I love him.

I glanced at Maul out of the corner of my eye before I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I buried my face in my hands and held my breath until I was composed enough to ease the air out of my lungs. I knew no matter how hard I cried Maul wouldn't come to my aid or even waste the breath to tell me to stop blubbering. Regardless, I fully intended on sobbing as quietly as possible.

For a while I laid in bed, crying into my comforter, then I stared out the window for an hour or two before I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore and fell asleep. When I woke up there was food on my nightstand so I ate. There was no sign that Maul had moved. I tried to read, but ended up staring at the same page for twenty minutes. I closed the book and hugged it tightly to my chest.

"Maul..."

"I told you not to speak," He turned enough that I could see his eye, wide and full of the promise he made to me earlier. A tear slipped down my cheek and I covered my mouth as my lip trembled.

I spent the rest of the day curled up in bed, tossing and turning, tying to sleep. I wanted nothing more than to be unconscious, to be as far away as I could without leaving the room. For the most part I just laid there, as uncomfortable as a person could be in their own bed.

When I opened my eyes the room was dark and I was tucked in, my blanket up to my chin. I rolled onto my back, surprised to see Maul perched on the edge of the bed so near to me that my hip touched his. His back was rigid, hands balled into fists, and he was still staring out that damn window. I was about to roll back over and pretend I didn't exist when Maul spoke.

"You were talking in your sleep," All malice was gone from his voice, but it only hurt my soul a little more. If he'd just stayed angry with me...if he could just stay angry…

"Sorry," I mumbled as I turned back over.

"You said-" Maul cut himself off as if saying whatever he was going to say was going to be more damaging than threatening to throw me to the wolves.

I sat up, my stomach sinking. My nerves prickled every hair on my body and I could feel my heart breaking, dissolving, creating a hole the size of a crater in my chest.

"You have to stop," My voice came out quiet and defeated. I hugged my arms around myself, feeling so heavy and so light at the same time. "Stop _talking_ like that to me. Like you don't hate me, like..." I licked my lips and swallowed a sob. "Like you care," I was honestly surprised I had tears left to cry. There's got to be a limit.

"I don't hate you," He didn't sound particularly thrilled about it.

"Then stop acting like you do!" My voice broke, I felt hysterical, and this time there was nothing I could do to stop it. "You walk around my house for practically my entire life surrounding me with strength and safety and consistency whether or not it's against your will. And I know you've always thought I was foolish and annoying and you were probably right for all those years. Then you save my life and I finally try to make some kind of connection with you because you deserve human contact and I _want to be_ that contact. I want to talk to you, I want to _love_ you and you let me and then shut me out. And with Casta..." I groaned, covered my face.


	16. Chapter 16

By then I as on my knees, trembling and so overcome with emotion that I could have passed out. My teeth were chattering and muscles all over my body were twitching. It felt like I was trying to break out of my body.

"You can't be gentle and caring and cold and cruel and dangerous all at the same time, Maul, you _can't._ You can't be all of those things," I was looking at him now, practically begging him to be someone else. He was just staring at me looking entirely unbothered by my hysterics.

"Are you hearing me?" I grabbed his shoulders, putting enough of my weight on him that it would have pushed back a normal person. Still, the expression he wore was almost more pleasant that his typical look.

I pushed my face closer to his and he didn't flinch. Our noses were touching and my lips tingled. His eyes trailed down my face and I tried to resist all the primal urges crashing together in my body. All at once I could feel the heat radiating from him, his breath on my face, and the strength of his body under my hands. I could see him cradling Casta and risking his life to save mine. There should have been no reason not to kiss him, to give myself to him wholly and completely right then and there.

The problem was these ridiculous human emotions. It was socially unacceptable, my father would likely kill both of us, and Maul wasn't exactly one for emotional support. Regardless of the fact that I already loved him, I didn't think he would be a suitable...mate. If I were in danger of dying, sure, he would be there, but what about when I was upset or needed someone to celebrate with? I'd never even seen the man smile. Not once.

I moved quickly, getting off the bed and tripping into the bathroom. I felt like a baby deer taking it's first steps. My fingers found the light switch and I found my way to the toilet. Most of what I managed to puke up was water and stomach acid, but I did enough dry heaving to count as a decent ab workout.

I crouched there, palms pressed to my forehead, taking deep, steady breaths. I couldn't go on like this. People are trying to kidnap or kill me and Maul is destroying me from the inside out. I could love him all I wanted, but I couldn't be with him. Besides, it wasn't like he loved me. Sure, maybe he cared for me just a little bit, but he didn't love me and he never would.

I felt his presence before I saw him. He dipped down and was clearly going to pick me up from the floor. I flinched away and held a hand out to stop him.

"Don't. Don't touch me. If you do-" I cut myself off, struggling even to breathe. If he touched me again I was never going to let go. I wouldn't be able to stop myself from doing whatever it was some part of me wanted me to do.

Maul only hesitated long enough to hear my protest before picking me up. A groan came from somewhere deep within me and I wound myself around him, fingers knotted in his shirt, legs so tightly around his waist that they shook. He walked us into the darkness of my bedroom and hovered next to the bed.

"You need to do something with this energy," It sounded more like a demand than a suggestion.

"What?" I questioned, my venomous word muffled by his sleeve.

"Become strong," He set me on the bed, face remaining inches from mine. "Aren't you the one who told me love was fuel?" I swallowed hard.

"I'm not you," Maul was strong in every way a person could be; mentally, physically, emotionally. As far as physical strength went I had next to none, and mentally and emotionally I was a complete wreck. With what I was going through with Maul I wasn't sure I was ever going to feel sane again.

I chuckled softly to myself.

"What am I supposed to do with it anyway. I can't protect you," I shook my head, the smile dying on my lips. I met Maul's eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: This is my most popular story and I want to let the readers know that I will be continuing it. I'll be out of town for a week or so, therefore, I'm not sure how much work I'll get done. There will be a few more chapters (at least) this week. Hopefully I can figure out how to keep the ball rolling! Thanks for tuning in :)**

"So, you aren't going to say anything else?" He only stared back at me. "I just told you I love you," I didn't know what I wanted him to say. Would it be better if he told me he loved me or if he just didn't say anything at all?

Maul shook his head and walked away from me, placing himself once again in front of the window. I turned to watch him and the more I stared the more exhausted I felt. I lied down, eyes still fixed on him. In that moment there were no barriers. I had no way of protecting myself from the raw emotion I felt. In the few minutes I remained awake I came to accept it.

I loved him and he knew. He had acknowledged it. I still didn't know _exactly_ how he felt. It was clear he was facing some internal struggle. He didn't _want_ to feel anything, but he did. Unfortunately for me, he wasn't one to give in. Not to anything. He would do what made him strong and loving me probably wasn't one of those things.

I sighed softly as my eyes fell shut. No matter what he planned to do one thing was for sure. I couldn't deny my feelings anymore. There was still hope and for the time being I was going to act on it. There may be a point where it is necessary to move on, but we're not there yet.

My sleep was surprisingly peaceful. It was deep and dreamless. When my eyes opened once again to the morning light I felt cozy and well rested. It appeared Maul hadn't moved an inch.

"Have you slept?" I asked as I pushed myself up into a sitting position, comforter still held around my shoulders. He didn't move, but answered my question.

"No," His voice was steady and calm, holding no discernible emotion.

"You have to sleep sometime, you know. It _is_ necessary," I waited, but he had no reaction. After a few minutes of watching the sky change and birds chirp I got up and went to the bathroom to start my day.

Once clean and dressed I stepped back into the bedroom. "If you have no intention of sleeping I would like to make plans for the day," I announced, only feeling half sure this was going to work.

"We are not leaving this building," Guess not.

"Come on," I groaned, striding over to him as he stood to meet me. "I haven't been out for weeks, _months_ when you consider..." I trailed off, suddenly caught up in the memory of my imprisonment. My face fell and it took a moment to shake the thought.

"You know how often I was out and about before all of this. I'm restless and I've read every book in this place three times over. I have to do something," He still didn't look convinced. "I'll wear a cloak. I won't talk to anyone. Please," I realized while looking up at him that there was no way I could tell if I was making any headway or not. That was certainly a disadvantage.

"One hour and you listen to every word I say, no questions," A smile broke across my face and I hopped successfully.

"Yes, of course. Thank you," It was difficult to contain myself. The more I thought about going out and seeing the world again the more I realized how much I missed it. Before everything that happened I barely ever sat still. I was always shopping, hanging out at clubs, and attending festivals and other special events. It was time for things to get back to normal.

I threw on my cloak, dark blue with a gold clasp, and fixed it in the mirror so I could see out, but no one else could see in. I practically bounced out of the house and had to remind myself several times not to get too out of hand. I had to be discrete and that wasn't something I was used to.

Everything was just as I'd remembered it. The sky was bright and the air was dusty, full of the scents of cooking food, flowers, and animals. People bustled about haggling and making trades while children ran around underfoot, their parents calling after them. Around me were sales booths of glittering gemstones and precious metals, richly colored bolts of fabric, and fresh produce straight from the dirt. I couldn't help but slow and smile.

I stopped at a jewelry booth, Maul standing so near to me that I could feel the heat of his body. I wanted nothing more than to lean back against him, to hold his hand, just to touch him at all really. The urge was becoming frighteningly difficult to resist.


	18. Chapter 18

"What can I help you two strangers with, hm?" I glanced up at the vendor. I knew that tone of voice. He was about to start pitching his wares in the most annoying manner possible. I ignored him and returned my hidden gaze to the jewelry.

A ring with a large sunset orange stone caught my eyes. The stone was oval shaped, smooth, and far too big for me. It took me a moment to realize why I was so fixated on it. It was the same color as Maul's eyes. I reached across the table, snagging it with my thumb and sending it tumbling into my wide sleeve before plucking out a similar purple ring and holding it up for purchase. I felt a bit bad for stealing it and was more than a little nervous walking away that the man would notice it missing.

"Here," I caught Maul's sleeve and pulled him into a nearby antique store. Being behind four walls made me feel slightly less on edge. The place was silent and smelled of dust and old books. We didn't stay for long, as there wasn't much of interest to ogle at and I was missing the feeling of the sun warming my cloak.

An hour is a surprisingly short amount of time when you spend it actually doing something. I bought a new book to keep my busy for the next day or so and glanced over a few pretty things. The sight of a Trandosian, who was probably completely harmless, stopped me in my tracks and Maul was quick to notice. His hand touched the small of my back just barely as he steered me into an alley. From there I stuck so close we were nearly tripping over each other as he led us home through back alleys.

Once home we returned to my room where I hung up my cloak and set my new purchases on my bed. I clutched the stolen ring in my fist, trying to work up the courage to give it to him. He deserved something for all he'd done for me and maybe this wasn't much, but it was the best I could come up with.

"Maul?" He turned away from the window, arms still crossed tightly over his chest. I let out a quick breath and held the ring out to him before I could think too hard about it. "I got this for you. I figured, I mean, you've done so much for me. I know you don't want to and I just wanted to say...thank you. I know it's not much," I watched eagerly as he took the ring between his fingers, twisting it around to examine it. He nodded and after a few seconds I determined that was the only response I was going to get.

The peace only lasted a few minutes. I had sat myself on the edge of my bed, examining my new book more thoroughly. The main reason I'd picked it up was because the cover was pretty and I didn't recognize the title as something I'd already read. Upon further inspection I discovered that it was a romance novel set in a historical time period. I had just begun looking over the acknowledgments when I noticed Maul stiffen and then take a quick, purposeful step towards the window.

My head snapped in his direction, heart pounding already. His back and balled fists weren't giving away any details so I turned my attention to the view. Across the way there were three Zygerrian men on a balcony speaking among themselves and staring right back into my window.

"Stay here," Maul removed his lightsaber from his waist. "Lock the door," Before I could protest he was gone from the room and halfway down the hallway.

With shaking hands I closed and locked the door. What was I supposed to do? Hide? Where did they come from? Were they really looking in or was it just paranoia on our part?

I backed into the room, eyes fixed on the men. I had to do something. I couldn't just let them keep plotting whatever it was they were plotting.

Before I could continue my thought there was a loud thud on the door. I jumped and froze, the hair on the back of my neck prickling uncomfortably. The thud came again and I jumped backwards.

Was it Maul? He hadn't been gone for long. Maybe he came back. But then, wouldn't he have called for me to open the door?

The next thud cracked the door. I covered my mouth to keep myself from screaming and looked frantically around the room for something to protect myself with. I didn't have any conventional weapons. I had no need for them and they didn't make desirable decoration. The heaviest thing I could pick up was a chair, but that wasn't going to help much.


	19. Chapter 19

Before I could make a decision the door came crashing in. At the familiar wolfish appearance of Zygerrians, I tried to run. If I could make it to the bathroom I would at least have another door to slow them down. I did make it there, but found myself face down on the tile floor before I could even touch the door.

"Not so fast, sweetheart," A gruff voice spoke into my ear. I never wanted to hear that tone again. The smug, all too pleased voice of someone having the upper hand. I let out an enraged scream and struggled as if there were anything I could have done had I gotten to my feet.

"That wasn't a very nice trick you pulled before. A senator's daughter is worth a lot of money, but one protected by a jedi must have a few more secrets. I can get so much more out of you now," Despite the pain it caused, I twisted my eyes around to see the man's face. It was the same one I'd stupidly gone with that day at the market. The fear in my eyes made him smile.

He yanked me to my feet and kept my arms firmly trapped behind me. I stumbled as he shoved me out of the room, trying as hard as I could to keep my ground. I knew even while doing it that it was no use, but it was that or go quietly.

The Zygerrian slaver stopped me in the middle of my bedroom and took my hair roughly into one clawed hand, scratching my scalp in the process.

"Look there," He whispered in my ear, directing my attention out the window. Maul was across the way, dealing with the Zygerrians I now knew to be planted as a distraction. I whimpered hopelessly, eyes filling with tears. He was so far away. He didn't see me. There was no way he would make it in time to save me. Again.

"He's impressive, you know. It has been a great challenge finding a way around him. Fortunately for us he seems to have developed a personal attachment to you," He clicked his tongue and my heart fell.

No. This is all my fault. If I hadn't been so insistent, if I hadn't made things so personal, this never would have happened. Now even if I am safe in the end he'll never let himself get close to me again.

A breath escaped me; one containing a piece of me that had broken away. Maybe I deserved this. For making a strong man weak. For breaking more than one heart and causing so much grief along the way. I'm just a stupid girl who could never be happy with what she had.

When the Zygerrian dragged me from the room I didn't protest. I kept my eyes on the ground feeling ashamed and trying not to trip. The void of darkness swallowing me up was all too familiar. This time there would be no hope of rescue. No saving grace. I was going to have to face this punishment until my miserable, insignificant life ended.

I happened to look up as we were coming upon the front door. Through the glass I could see Maul, back just in time to save the day. I was surprised, but not as relieved as I should have been. He went for the one holding me, which resulted in my release. Instead of getting out of the way I sat against the wall and pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. The man who had originally captured me escaped out the door and in his rage, Maul didn't notice.

My body was numb, my mind was quiet, and my eyes felt tired. I looked across the hall at the opposite wall, stark white until blood splashed up onto it. I flinched at the sound of breaking bones. Whatever Maul was doing he wasn't simply killing these men or fighting them off. He was mutilating them; making sure they felt pain before taking their final breath.

I almost didn't notice when quiet stilled the air. When he crouched in front of me I pretended I couldn't see him. When he asked if I was hurt I pretended I couldn't hear him. When he picked me up and cradled me in his arms I pretended I couldn't feel him; that the sound of his heart and the feeling of his strength surrounding me wasn't pulverizing the broken remains of my heart.

He took me to my father's office and set me in the chair behind the desk. He then went around the room, making sure all the doors and windows were secured. No one could see in, but we could still see out. That made the veil of safety feel very thin.


	20. Chapter 20

This time, when Maul stopped in front of me, I met his gaze. His face looked angry. It always did. It was difficult not to with all those harsh lines. But his eyes were steady. Hard, but not blazing.

"Are you going to cooperate?" He asked.

I wanted to fight him on it. I wanted to ask what he was talking about or to scoff. I wanted to let out everything I was holding in. To cry and apologize over and over again. This was all my fault and I never should have allowed myself to see him as anything more than some sentry my father kept around. I never should have humanized him when he clearly tried so hard to dehumanize himself. I wanted to spill everything, but I didn't. I just nodded.

He called my father. I watched as the hologram scrambled to focus.

"Maul, has something happened?" He already sounded angry. That was no surprise.

"Yes. The Zygerrian's attacked only moments ago. Erith is safe for now, but it appears the slavers believe they were cheated," Maul's voice was calm and confident. He stood with his shoulders squared and his wrists locked behind his back.

"Cheated? Cheated how? They already sold her into slavery once. How did this happen, Maul?" If my father had actually been present it wouldn't have come as a surprise to me if he tried to kill Maul right then and there.

"They believe that a senator's daughter under the protection of a...force wielder is worth more than a senator's daughter who is not. They may be under the impression there is something particularly special about her aside from her rank.

As for the circumstances in which the attack occurred, it was an ambush. I spotted a group of Zygerrian's watching from the window of Erith's bedroom. When I went to eliminate the threat a second group found it's way into the building. As for how they got in, I am not certain. I cannot be to blame for faulty building security,"

That last was a direct stab and I looked up at him fully, willing him to shut up. He was in enough trouble as it was. Provoking my father wasn't exactly going to get him anywhere. Well, nowhere he wanted to be.

Father closed his eyes and looked away, his face twisting in anger. It was clear he wanted to yell until there was nothing left to yell about, but for some reason, he held it in. After letting out a sharp, huffing breath, he opened his eyes and refocused on Maul.

"It's time then. Are you clear on what to do?" My eyes darted from my father to Maul, trying to figure out what it was they were talking about. Time for what? What else was there to do?

"Yes, master," Maul nodded, looking as stern as he had before.

"Good. Is she in the room?" Maul turned to me and gestured for me to stand. Still wide eyed and alert, I got up and took his place in front of the hologram. My father's face softened and he smiled.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, still looking between the both of them.

"My dear, listen to me. This is going to be difficult for you, but I need to send you away from here. You cannot be properly protected if the enemy knows where you are. Maul will be taking you somewhere far away, where you will remain until I believe it is safe for you to come home. You must understand that this could be a very long time," He sounded as sad as he looked.

"You're sending me away?" I looked once again at Maul, who's expression was no softer than it ever was.

"Maul will be going with you. There are times where you will be left alone, but I believe you will be safe regardless. I will be in contact, but it will be brief and infrequent. We can't have anyone finding out where you are," It was a relief knowing Maul would be with me, but where could they ship us off to that no one would know we were there. I had been hiding enough. It was the last thing I wanted, but it appeared to be my only option.


End file.
